"Yeah, because you're big... I MEAN BECAUSE YOU'RE TALL." (Someone actually said this to me once).
I've thought about this a lot. I think that the implication that you are fat is offensive, but the covering it up is even more offensive.
Once my friend and I were the last to get into an elevator. Let's call her X. There were two other friends of ours, Y and Z, in the lift. The lift buzzed when X and I stepped in, meaning that the lift was overloaded/overweight.
Y (to me, in a mocking tone): Oh Candice, the lift buzzed because of you!
*awkward pause*
X: Umm, no no it's my fault.
*another awkward pause*
Z: Oh my god Y, you're so mean!
When X tried to be nice by "taking the blame" (which is completely ridiculous because she's skinny), I felt even worse. And when Z accused Y of being mean, it made me feel like sinking through the floor.
Why is this so?
Well, everyone was treating "being fat" like it was a crime!
It was as though I, Candice, should be embarrassed about being heavy, which made X feebly attempt to attribute some of the extra weight to herself.
And Z's accusation just made things even worse because it implied:
1. Y was being mean
which means that
2. What Y said was an insult
which means that
3. It is insulting to imply that someone is fat
from which we can conclude that
4. Being fat is BAD and SHAMEFUL.
When you or others have said or implied that someone is fat, and you immediately try to cover it up, you are simply making things worse by suggesting that the idea of being fat is repulsive, embarrassing and undesirable, which is why you saw the need to salvage what you said.
I've been on the receiving end of such comments + cover-ups, and I find the cover-ups excessively annoying and insulting. I feel like they're indirectly saying "I'm sorry for accidentally insulting you. Please ignore my comment and try not to feel bad about being fat!" And when others cover up for a particular person, it's even worse. It's like they're saying "Yep, everyone knows that calling someone fat is an insult because fatness is undesirable. But don't worry, we are here to help you and make you feel better." It's as if being fat is a crime or disease, which is why I would even have to "feel bad" and be "comforted" about it in the first place.
