The Car Sinks & Rises

Whenever I get into a car, the entire car sinks. I'm not exaggerating; the car literally goes a little lower on the side where I got in. And accordingly, the side where I've been sitting rises when I get out of the car, and it even makes a creaking sound while it rises.

I think this is particularly embarrassing, because something as big and strong as a car reacts to my weight so dramatically, which implies just how vast my weight is! And that creaking noise it makes when I get out? It's as though the car is sighing in relief that it doesn't have to entertain my fat bum anymore ):

So I always have to get in and out of the car very very gradually so that the sinking and rising of the car is not that obvious to anybody outside the car. I also make it a point to be the last one to get into the car, so that everybody is already safely in the car and therefore will not witness the entire car sinking. Similarly, I always try to be the first one to get out, so that nobody will be outside the car and able to see the car rising as I get out.

The efforts that fat people such as myself take to virtually appear less fat (or to give people hardly any reason to think that we are any fatter) may sound quite laughable, but hey, if you're not fat, don't judge, because there's hardly any chance that you will understand at all.