Diets

This is a wonderful portrayal of the psychology behind diets. It's rather exaggerated, but there is definitely some truth in it. Jenna Marbles FTW! (... but actually, she's really skinny + she has a steady boyfriend, so she sure as hell does not need a diet).

As a fat person myself, of course I have tried dieting, and of course I have failed. They say that 95% of diets don't work, and most people gain back the weight they have lost. And if the diet does work, you'll probably end up on a hospital bed in a ward full of other miserable anorexic patients being force fed all kinds of fat junk food against their will. So, it seems that you will never win.

I always believe that the success of your diet is never a question of how strong your will power is, because the strength of your will power is dependent on how badly you actually want to lose weight. To elaborate further, I don't believe in stupid sweeping statements like "That girl has such a persevering character, she doesn't give up anything she sets her heart on". To me, that is a really stupid thing to say. Perseverance is not a trait! It is merely a result of an existing (strong) desire. And DUH, if you have set your heart on something, you won't give up, because... you have set your heart on it! If you seriously give up, it just means you did not set your heart on it.

But I digress. To bring things back to the diet issue, the stronger your desire to lose weight, the higher your chance at success. There are many other factors that affect your desire to lose weight, such as your love for food and your laziness, which may be so overpowering and overwhelming that your desire to lose weight takes a backseat and ends up fading into the background.

As for me, I am:

1. A major food-fanatic. For all you people who have never been to Singapore, you are seriously missing out on the food. I can safely say that 90% of the food we have here is so oily that your complexion will suffer for it, and after eating you will feel a mixture of disgust, and yet, great satisfaction. Argh, it makes me feel highly ambivalent. And, not to mention the abundance of fast food outlets we have here - I practically live next door to a McDonalds, KFC, and an ice-cream parlour.

2. A complete lazy-ass, and proud of it! P.E. has always been my least favourite lesson. In fact, PE ruins the entire day for me. I officially hate Mondays and Fridays because those are the days when I have PE. The games are not so bad, but when they make us RUN. Oh god. The other day I ran 1200 metres and I puked into the drain after that, right in front of my classmates. How embarrassing. Yeah, it isn't so hard to see that I'm not a fan of exercise.

3. And sometimes I have these random moments when I buy all that inspirational, self-empowering crap (as described in my previous post) and think to myself "Candice, you are a BEAUTIFUL person and you DON'T need to change a thing!" Of course, such moments are rare, but they still happen... ...

These three factors are probably the reason why my diets in the past have failed. Good luck to all my future endeavors. I embrace them with hearty enthusiasm.

P.S. this entry does not "go to show" that fat people are lazy people who eat a lot. I know there are plenty of fat people out there who watch what they eat and exercise, and I seriously admire them for it.

P.P.S. I will be taking my (extremely important) A Level exams in less than a month, and I am panicking the shit out of myself. So I have resorted to calming myself down with chocolate. Especially Kinder Bueno, the best chocolate ever. Isn't this a legit reason to pig out? :(

"Fat People Are Beautiful" Inspirational Stories - NOT!

A so-called inspirational story I chanced upon on Facebook a few months ago:

THE STORY OF THE FAT LADY

Hi! How are you?” The woman smiled as she took the seat beside me. She had to lower herself slowly, squeezing her ample bottom into the seat, filling all available space.

Positioning herself comfortably, she plopped her enormous arm on our common armrest. Her immensity saturated the space around us, shrinking me and my seat into insignificance.

I cringed and reclined towards the window.

She leaned towards me and repeated her greeting in an upbeat, friendly voice. Her face towered above my head, forcing me to turn to look at her. “Hi,” I replied with obvious loathing.

I turned away to stare out the cabin window, sulking silently about the long hours of discomfort I was going to experience with this monster beside me.

She nudged me with her meaty arm. “My name is Laura. I’m from Britain. How about you? Japan?”

“Malaysia,” I barked.

“I’m so sorry! Will you accept my heartfelt apology? Come, shake my hand. If we’re going to spend six hours side-by-side on this flight, we’d better be friends, don’t you think?” A palm waved in front of my face. I shook the hand reluctantly, still silent.

Laura started a conversation with me, taking no notice of my unfriendly reactions. She talked excitedly about herself and her trip to Hong Kong to see her frinds. She rattled off a list of things she was going to buy for her students in the boarding school where she was teaching.

I gave her one-word answers to her questions about me. Unperturbed by my coldness, she nodded as she made appreciative comments to my answers. Her voice was warm and caring. She was considerate and obliging when we were served drinks and meals, making sure that I had room to manoeuvre in my seat. “I don’t want to clobber you with my elephant size!” she said with utmost sincerity.

To my surprise, her face which repulsed me hours before, now opened into extraordinary smiles, lively and calm at the same time. I couldn’t help but let down my guard slowly.

Laura was an interesting conversationalist. She was well read in many subjects from philosophy to science. She turned a seemingly unimportant subject into something to explore and understand. Her comments were humorous and inspirational. When our topic turned to cultures, I was pleasantly surprised by her intelligent comments and well-thought-out analysis.

During our conversation, Laura managed to make every cabin crew who served us walk away laughing at her jokes.

When a flight attendant was clearing our plates, Laura cracked several jokes about her size. The flight attendant roared with laughter as she grabbed Laura’s hand, “You really make my day!”

For the next few minutes, Laura listened attentively and gave pointers to the flight attendant’s weight problem. The grateful attendant said before she rushed off, “I’ve got to work. I’ll come back later and talk to you about it.”

I asked Laura, “‘Have you ever thought about losing some weight?”

“No. I’ve worked hard to get this way. Why would I want to give it up?”

“You aren’t worried about cardiovascular diseases that come with being overweight?”

“Not at all. You only get the diseases if you’re worried about your weight all the time. You see advertisements from slimming centres that say, ‘Liberate yourself from your extra baggage so that you are free to be yourself.’ It’s rubbish! You’re liberated only if you’re comfortable about who you are, and what you look like any time of the day and anytime of the year! Why would I want to waste my time on slimming regimes when I have so many other important things to do and so many people to be friends with? I eat healthily and walk regularly; I’m this size because I am born to be big! There is more to life than worrying about weight all day long.”

She sipped at her wine. “Besides, God gives me so much happiness that I need a bigger body to hold all of it! Why would I lose weight to lose my happiness?” Taken aback by her reasoning, I chuckled.

Laura continued. “Folks often see me as a fat lady with big bosoms, big thighs and a big bottom that no man would even bother to cast a glance at. They see me as a slob. They think I’m lazy and have no willpower. They’re wrong.” She held up her glass to a passing flight attendant. “More of this magnificent wine, please.” She smiled sweetly at the attendant. “Great service from your crew. May God bless all of you.”

She turned to me, “I’m actually a slim person inside. I’m so full of energy that people won’t be able to keep up with me. This extra flesh is here to slow me down, otherwise I’ll be running everywhere chasing after men!”

“Do men chase after you?” I asked jokingly.

“Of course they do. I’m happily married but men still keep proposing to me.

“Most of them have relationship problems and they need someone to confide in. For some reason, they like to talk to me. I think I should have been a counsellor instead of a school teacher!”

Laura paused before she said thoughtfully, “You know, the relationship between men and women is so complicated. Women worship men and call them, ‘Honey’ until they find out they have been lied to, and then they turn into bitter gourds! Men love women so much that they see them as their soul mates until they look at their credit card bills, and then women become devils with tridents!”

Laura’s enthralling conversation had turned the flight into something thoroughly enjoyable. I was also fascinated by the way people were drawn to her. By the end of the flight, almost half the cabin crew was standing near the aisle by us, laughing and joking with Laura. The passengers around us joined in the merry-making too. Laura was the centre of attention, filling the cabin with delightful warmth.

When we waved goodbye to each other at the arrival lounge at Hong Kong’s Kai Tak Airport, I watched her walking towards a big group of adoring adults and kids. Cheers sounded as the group hugged and kissed Laura. She turned around and winked at me.

I was stunned, as the realisation set in: Laura was the most beautiful woman I had ever met in my life.

Click 'LIKE and 'SHARE' if you love this story. :)


This was my very cynical response:
Yeah yeah nice stories like these are supposed to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and are meant to change people's perceptions of beauty. But in some strange way these stories just remind people that it's common to dislike fat people and that they deserve pity, which actually doesn't do any good for fat people's pride. The more you say stuff like "we must respect fat people" and "fat people are beautiful" and "size doesn't matter", it somehow just makes fat people feel worse about themselves because they are constantly reminded that they are generally looked down upon and need to feed off people's sympathy because they're soooo pitiful. Besides, it's damn easy for someone to say "fat people are beautiful", but, given a choice, nobody of average build would agree to become any fatter than they are now. AND most people are scared of being fat anyway, which shows that the disdain for fatness remains. I think the solution is to stop focusing on size altogether (which I do agree is impossible...), rather than focusing on big sizes and calling them beautiful. AT THE MOST, these stories will make people treat fat people better out of pity/morality, but it doesn't stop the psychological discrimination against them.

I know, I know. I'm being very cynical. I'm not being fair to the person who wrote the story; for all I know she may actually feel that way. I appear to be very pessimistic about life. But, in my opinion, I'm just being realistic, and all this "inspirational", unrealistic crap doesn't do any good for society. People just want to boost their own egos by thinking that they're becoming better people, because they are spreading the "cause" to start loving and respecting the pitiful fat people. It's sadly hilarious. Fat people are now seen as a group of sad, sad people who need the world's approval? Well, that's true. But reminding us of this sad, sad fact isn't going to do any good for us.

Weight Jokes

Many thanks to the person who posted a comment on an earlier post! I got an email notification about the comment and it reminded me about the existence of this blog, which is why I'm doing another post. I'm sincerely sorry to the (very few) readers out there for not updating this space for so long.

Anyway, today was the first P.E. (Physical Education aka sports) lesson that we had after the month-long June holidays, which meant... it was time for the teacher to take our height and weight (refer to my "Taking My Weight In School" post).

One of my friends (let's call her Q), in good fun, made a weight joke about her best friend (let's call her P). When P stepped on the weighing scale, Q immediately shouted "OH MY GOD, P! You're 70kg?! Ha Ha Ha!" Q didn't actually see P's weight, which was obviously not 70kg (more like 55-60kg); she only meant it as a joke.

Well, I'm above 70kg so how is that supposed to make me feel? 70kg is funny? In that case they should just laugh at me every day when they see me at school.

Fine, perhaps I don't LOOK 70kg, because I AM heavier than I look, God knows why. Still, it's not impossible for me to be above 70kg, so I would appreciate some sensitivity, and not to have a heavy weight treated as a huge joke, like being heavy is something considered funny; something to be laughed about.

Thank God this is the very last time I'll ever have my weight taken in school - I'm graduating at the end of this year. I will be spared of further humiliation.

The Maxi Dress

It's been forever since I updated this... but not like anybody reads this anyway.

My new obsession is the maxi dress. Why? Because it practically covers your entire body, so you don't really have to worry about your butt looking big or your calves looking fat. It's an awesome piece of clothing for fat people.

However, I've been browsing online for maxi dresses, and the bulk of them have no sleeves. I don't see the point in hiding my fat butt, thighs and legs, if my flabby arms are going to be boldly brandished in public. See? They never make good clothes for fat people. I might as well wear a nun's clothing.

They do have some maxi dresses with LONG sleeves... but I don't want to look like an old queen.

The few maxi dresses WITH sleeves that I found, which I actually like:

This one wasn't actually for sale. This was a tutorial on how to sew this dress. Well, I have no materials, no sewing machine, and no domestic skills whatsoever ): BUT THIS DRESS IS SO PRETTY and I want it.

The model is really skinny... so I doubt it'd look good on me. It is "free size", which is supposed to mean that the majority of people will be able to wear it. But I highly doubt it'd fit me.

I like this, but I heard that horizontal stripes make you look wider. Of course there isn't a single piece of clothing that could make this model look fat, except a fat suit. But for me?

Still, I love the concept of maxi dresses. They're loose and comfortable and extend to your ankles!

If I was skinny, I would wear this type of thing every day:

But I'm not. So it's sleeves for me! Provided I can actually find one of these dresses in Singapore, with the huge collections of wonderfully fashionable dresses that all come in minus-sizes -.-

Double Chins

Sometimes after I take a picture with my friends, we look at the picture and one of my friends will exclaim, "We have got to take that picture again! Look, I have a double chin in that photo. Eww!" Well, what about those who always have a double chin no matter what? So we're not allowed to take photos?

It's even worse if a friend makes a funny face that produces a double chin, and the rest of my friends immediately start laughing and saying, "Ha ha ha! Look, now you have a double chin!" So does that mean they are inwardly laughing whenever they see my fat face?

In the end, I have to force my head to stick out in a forward direction so that the fats under my chin are stretched out, therefore eliminating the frequency of that double chin appearing. I wouldn't do that if people thought that double chins were okay, or if people didn't think that double chins were disgusting. But, they do. So, I adapt to survive (an excellent line taken from X-Men First Class).

But... isn't it ironic that the double chin appears most prominently when you smile? Is it just an indication that fat people find it very hard to be happy?

This is a beautiful smile. But when people see it, they will precisely say, "This is a beautiful smile. BUT, it would be better if she didn't have a double chin."

Taking My Weight In School? Ugh!

For every Singaporean student in a Primary, Secondary or Post-Secondary institution, it is compulsory to have the P.E. teachers measure our height and weight after every major holiday (which is the June holidays and the end-of-year holidays). This measure is predicated on the assumption that students typically pig out during the holidays and gain an unnecessary amount of "holiday weight", which is apparently unacceptable and therefore has to be monitored.

I'm really tall, so I like the part where the teachers measure my height and tell me that I am well above 1.7 meters (that's above 5 feet and 7 inches, thereabouts).

But THEN, I have to face the dreadful moment of stepping on the weighing scale and watching the needle swing past a very very very large number on that scale. In fact, sometimes I don't even dare to look. I try to stand in certain ways to decrease the number, but nothing works because the scale is too damn smart.

I'm not afraid of knowing what my weight is, because I KNOW that I am heavy. I am simply infuriated to have my (extremely private) weight made known to:

1. The teacher who is measuring my weight
2. The student who has been commissioned to help the teacher record down the weights of all the students
3. Any other students who are near enough to hear the teacher read out the number on the weighing machine to the student mentioned in point number 2

And what's worse - everyone is dying to know the weight of the fat girl! Heck, even I would rather know the weight of a fat girl than a skinny girl, though I really cannot explain this phenomenon. But it's true. When it's time for the fat girl to step on the scale, everyone stops talking among themselves, and tries to act like they're not interested at all in the fat girl's weight (but trust me, THEY ARE). They turn sideways so that they're not directly facing the height-and-weight area, but their eyeballs are rolled in the direction of the poor fat girl who has just stepped on the weighing machine. Then their eyes turn toward the lips of the teacher who then utters the number that everybody is simply dying to know, while everyone reads the teacher's lips and has the satisfaction of knowing just how damn heavy that fat girl is.

This is why I always dread the first day of school after June and December. I hear all my skinny friends saying, "Oh my god! I gained soooooo much weight after the holidays! Now I'm like, 54kg!" Thanks a lot. It's not as if they don't know that I'm definitely much heavier than they are - I am visibly heavier.

I hate the Ministry of Education, and the Health Promotion Board for having this stupid rule that students have to take their height and weight in school after the holidays!!! Just leave us alone, wouldn't you? I would like to have the privacy of being the only one who knows my weight! Not to have it keyed in some stupid system viewed by health freaks who go "tsk" at all the overweight teenagers.

Fat Calves - Wobble Wobble Wobble!

There are times when I have to sit cross-legged on the floor in school. My school skirt automatically moves up my legs whenever I sit in that fashion, so about half my thighs and all of my calves are fully visible.

I despise the roundness of my calves whenever I sit in that fashion. My calves form a very obvious curve, and in fact, they bulge so much that half the calve touches the thigh. I look at my friends' beautiful, slender calves that are so thin that the fat part of their calves do not even tough the underside of their thighs!!

When I'm standing, it's not that bad because at least the fats are stretched out and therefore do not look that round. But when I sit down, my legs look like they have been transformed completely. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think that my legs, when standing up, look kinda nice. But if I ever have to sit down cross-legged during the day, all those fantasies disappear and I face the harsh, cold, cruel reality of the fatness of my calves.

Worst of all, sometimes my friends pinch their calves and whine about how fat their calves are. This shows that:

1. They think having fat calves is a bad thing.
2. They think my calves are absolutely disgusting, considering how much fatter my calves are than theirs!

Hmm, maybe I should dream of having calves like these. But then I would be severely kidding myself. A lump of fat cannot even wish to ever be transformed into bulging muscles like those.

I Like Big Butts... NOT!

I have a gigantic butt, and I am not exaggerating.

Sometimes I use the excuse of my anorexic past to explain why I have a big butt: Women in general lose weight in the breasts first, and they gain weight in the buttocks and thigh areas first. I can testify to this, because when I first started dieting, I distinctly remember that my bra got looser, and now that I have gained back my weight, my butt is ginormous.

I hate my ginormous butt. It sticks out like nobody's business. I look horrible when I wear pants or shorts, because you can distinctively see the huge mountain of my butt that protrudes unattractively from the rest of my body. In fact, it's so big that it always bumps into everything! I can barely buy any shorts that FIT, because of my fat thighs and butt. So now I'm stuck with gigantic pants and shorts, because people with a butt as big as mine are meant to be proportionally bigger everywhere else as well! I'm big everywhere, but I am especially big in the butt, so the proportions are all wrong.


Everytime I walk past a shiny wall and I look at my side-view reflection, I feel like puking in disgust at the sight of the sack of fat that hangs off my bottom. I suppose the only way to hide my big butt is to wear loose skirts that expand toward the bottom. Ugh! Being fat really limits the kind of clothes you wear.

On a side note, contrary to the song "I Like Big Butts" by Sir Mix A Lot, men in Singapore definitely do not like big butts. In fact, a big butt would totally turn them off!

Fat People are Sweaty People

This morning I was in school having morning assembly. It was a pretty hot day (well, duh, it's Singapore). The sun was practically roasting me, so I started to sweat buckets. My hair stuck together because of the sweat. My clothes became soaked with sweat at the back and the chest. Sweat trickled down my face and it tickled terribly.

This always happens! Even if it's not very hot, the walk from the bus stop into school always makes me tired out and sweaty. Then I look around at my friends, and not a single one of them has a drop of sweat on their clothes. I sweat even more than the guys do! How utterly embarrassing!

After assembly, one of my friends will never fail to tell me, "Wow, Candice, you're sweating so much! Why are you sweating so much?" Now, what am I supposed to say? Uh, because I'm fat? And thank you so much for telling me that I am "sweating so much", because I would be the last person to realize that!


I don't even know why fatter people sweat so much. Is it because it's tiring to lug around a ball of fat everywhere you go?

Whatever it is, I hate the look people give me when they see my sweaty face and wet clothes. It's as though I am a fat slob who gets tired out at the littlest bit of activity. Oh wait, I am a fat slob who gets tired out at the littlest bit of activity!

This also makes it useless to shower in the morning - the moment I'm out of my house, I start sweating! No point getting clean if you're going to get sticky just a few hours later!! =.=

The Car Sinks & Rises

Whenever I get into a car, the entire car sinks. I'm not exaggerating; the car literally goes a little lower on the side where I got in. And accordingly, the side where I've been sitting rises when I get out of the car, and it even makes a creaking sound while it rises.

I think this is particularly embarrassing, because something as big and strong as a car reacts to my weight so dramatically, which implies just how vast my weight is! And that creaking noise it makes when I get out? It's as though the car is sighing in relief that it doesn't have to entertain my fat bum anymore ):

So I always have to get in and out of the car very very gradually so that the sinking and rising of the car is not that obvious to anybody outside the car. I also make it a point to be the last one to get into the car, so that everybody is already safely in the car and therefore will not witness the entire car sinking. Similarly, I always try to be the first one to get out, so that nobody will be outside the car and able to see the car rising as I get out.

The efforts that fat people such as myself take to virtually appear less fat (or to give people hardly any reason to think that we are any fatter) may sound quite laughable, but hey, if you're not fat, don't judge, because there's hardly any chance that you will understand at all.

I Feel Pregnant All The Time!

For skinny girls, it's normal for their stomachs to be flat when they stand up (without sucking it in!), and to bulge slightly when they sit down and hunch.

But imagine what it's like for fat girls! When we stand up, our tummies already bulge out! So when we sit down, what on earth happens? Our tummies bulge out even more, and whenever it happens to me, I can't help but feel like a pregnant lady.

That's why I never ever wear clothes that hug my stomach, because the degree of fat around my stomach will be way too obvious when I sit down, and people do judge you for that. I am forced to suck in my stomach with all my strength and might whenever I sit down, just so that my pregnant-lady-look-a-like stomach is not as visible as it could be.

Another reason to hate being fat! Frankly, it's embarrassing to have that large a stomach when you're not even pregnant. Even as I am sitting down in front of my computer, typing this post, I look down at my bulging stomach of FATS and I feel embarrassed about it, even though I'm the only one in the room. Being fat definitely plays psychological games with you.

Fat Girls Aren't Allowed to Wear Mini Skirts?

I have a close girl-friend from school. Let's just call her X. I had an interesting conversation with her the other day...


X: You know, the other day, I was on the bus, and I saw this woman wearing a mini skirt. She was really rather fat, so the sight was quite disgusting!

Me: So is the mini skirt disgusting, or is it her fatness that makes it disgusting?

X: Well, her fatness just made it even more disgusting!

-----------

Once again, this is a classic case of unfair treatment. Fat women aren't allowed to wear the same clothes as skinny women. Fat women aren't allowed to show their legs, but skinny women are free to (... and desired to by creepy old men). Fat women don't have much freedom in the kind of clothes they can wear without receiving dirty looks from strangers, as though they're breaking some sort of fashion rule.

What's the deal with the discrimination? So because I'm fat, my legs don't look as nice as skinny girls' legs, and I am therefore not allowed to show them? I fail to see the logic in that!

The way my friend described the incident made it sound like it was a crime for that woman to wear a mini skirt, just because she was fat. But would anyone have judged a super skinny girl for doing the same thing? I hardly think so.

Also, does that mean that if I were really REALLY fat, and I wore a mini skirt to my friend's party, she would say the very same thing about me to all her friends? It's times like these when I wonder who my real friends are - I want friends who wouldn't judge someone for being fat or ugly or stupid or whatever.

What irks me most is: This fat woman actually had the confidence and courage to step out of her house into the world, wearing a short skirt that would reveal her fat legs. But this was the kind of reaction she got from the rest of the world! No wonder fat people are generally not confident about themselves! It's precisely because society discriminates against them and doesn't give them a chance to feel accepted.

*P.S. I am not saying that I approve of people wearing super short skirts that reveal their butts. I'm just talking about how a woman's fatness made it not okay for her to wear the same clothes as skinny women.

Fat People Are Treated Unfairly

This is something my guy friend posted on Facebook a few days ago (all names have been hidden to respect the privacy of those involved). Pardon the Singlish used. Let's analyse this Facebook status, shall we?

Obese couple making out in public. Eyesore ttm.


So apparently, obese couples displaying affection in public are "eyesores". I'm not a fan of Public Displays of Affection, neither am I against it, but my point here is, does their obesity make them an eyesore? What if you saw a really hot, attractive couple making out in public? Would you post "A totally hot couple making out in public. What an eyesore!" 

HELL NO! If you were truly against PDA in general, you would just post "a couple making out in public". So my Facebook friend is obviously against FAT people showing public displays of affection! But apparently it's okay for skinny people to make out in public?

This is exactly why I hate being fat. Fat people are treated differently from normal people. Fat people are humans, are they not? And normal people are humans too, are they not? So how come the sight of fat people making out in public is an eyesore, whereas the sight of normal-sized people making out in public is less of an eyesore? Why? It's unfair, isn't it! It's the exact same act of "making out", but it's not received with the same views just because of a difference in size.

Also, take note of the purple guy's comment.

"That's what I call a horror movie!"


What movie today doesn't have a little romance where the hero and heroine share a kiss at some point during the movie? But the guy and girl involved are always attractive (and definitely not fat), right? Argh! A movie where the hero and heroine are fat would never sell as well as a movie where the hero and heroine look like Brad and Angelina (or Jennifer, if you like her better, which I do). More and more unfairness towards fat people!

Old Clothes Don't Fit Anymore!

Yesterday, I wore a shirt that I'd bought two years ago (when I was much skinnier). It was a little tight, so I asked my younger sister, "Hey, do you want this shirt?"

And guess what she said.


"Didn't this shirt used to be like, really really loose on you?... No offence."

Now was that a slap in the face or what? She might as well have said, "Wow, you used to be really skinny, but now you're so freaking fat that you can't even fit into your old clothes anymore! Ha ha ha!"

Clothes are simply a reminder of your weight. If your old clothes get looser, it means you lost weight. If your old clothes get tighter, it means you gained weight. And if you are like me and can't fit into your old clothes, it psychologically makes you want to kill yourself, because it reminds you of a time when you were actually slim and good-looking, thus reminding you about how bad you look right now.

This is definitely something I despise about being fat. I don't fit into all my old clothes! It's as though I have to keep buying new clothes to accommodate my ever-expanding body. Yuck!

Guys Don't Like Fat Girls

Here's a very good reason why I despise my fatness.

I met this guy when I was slim and beautiful, and we became the best of friends. I liked him, and I got the sense that he liked me too! We even went on a date. I was really happy.

But after I gained some weight (when I stopped dieting), he treated me totally different! He'd be cold whenever I talked to him, and he acted as though we had never shared a special friendship. From best friends, we became mere acquaintances.

And I know guys like these are jerks who are not worth caring about. I mean, the very fact that he would treat me so differently just because I was fatter than before, makes my blood boil. What's the deal with that kind of behavior! I'm still the exact same person as before, even though I may look different. I helped him through a lot of his problems, and he helped me through mine, on a very close and emotional level.

Yeah, maybe he's really a jerk for changing his attitude towards me, even though I never really changed my attitude towards him. So technically I should stop caring so much about that jerk. But part of me can't help but think that if I had never grown fat, he wouldn't have stopped being my best friend, and might even become my boyfriend in the future (it seemed to be heading that way, anyway).

So I blame it on the fats! Yeah yeah I could blame him for being such a jerk, but I still like him very much despite all those things, so I'd rather blame it on the fats. Fats caused me to lose a very special friend. Fats got in the way of a meaningful friendship. Fats made me lose the biggest happiness in my life.

Which is why I really have to get rid of the fats, right?